Ready to watch Twilight

I have decided I am ready to finally see the first Twilight movie. Anyone interested in watching it with me?

38 week appt

Well, we have made a tiny bit of progress. I am 1 cm and 50% effaced, but he is still so high up that they aren't worried about him being born this week. I have an appt next Tues and he said if I am at a 2 or more, he will go ahead and induce me later next week. So this week, I have to do more walking and maybe by next week we will have a clear plan of action.

I have hit the done stage. I am ready to have this baby. The only thing I think I need is gas drops. To all you more recent new moms, do they still have you put rubbing alcohol on the cord to dry it out? What about Vaseline for after the circumcision? It's been a long time since I've done this. Is there anything else I am forgetting?

The Lion King

We went to the Lion King last night and it was incredible! Here is a sneak peek of what we saw. I can't say enough about how great it was. It is worth the money for the tickets, and yes, take the kids if you can. Austin loved it! It started at 8pm which made for a really late night for our kids, but it was so worth it! Savannah was amazed at the dancers.

Click on the title of this post and it will take you to the youtube video! Enjoy!

37 week appt

No change, still not dilated, still "floating", still not effacing. Still very much pregnant!

I did get my Group Strep B test and it was positive. I was positive with Savannah also. No big deal, I just have to have at least 4 hours of antibiotics before I deliver and everything should be okay. Because of that, we will set an induction date next Tuesday. I am assuming it will either be the 2nd or 3rd of June, but we will see.

That gives me 14 more days to do all I need to do before he gets here. I don't have all that much to do, so I guess I will sit back and relax and just enjoy these last 2 weeks. Ben got us all tickets to see the Lion King production at the Mandalay Bay this Saturday night and I can't wait. Savannah has her preschool "advancement" ceremony next Wed morning and a party at the squirt park on Thursday. We have our quarterly Primary activity on the 30th and then after that, I am good to go.

A great visit

One of my BFF's from Iowa came to visit this weekend. It was so wonderful to see her and to be able to stay up late and talk and catch up on all the details that don't get shared over the phone. She brought her beautiful daughter, Savanah, with her.
It was such a blessing that she came along.

It was an eyeopening experience to see my kids nearly suffocate her with attention. They followed her everywhere, they never left her along, they had no respect for personal space and they wanted to help with everything. I can only imagine how they will be with Hunter. It will be easier because he will be a newborn and Savanah was almost one, but still it showed me what I need to be doing in the little time we have left to prepare them better.

Rhonda has been a wonderful friend to me. She was one of the first three people I called when I found out we were expecting and she cried more than I did. She has been a wonderful support. Thank you for taking time away from your family and crazy busy life and making time for me. I love you dearly and miss you tons!

36 Week check up

I am currently not dilated and he is still "floating" according to my Dr. First we were worried we wouldn't be able to keep him in, now it looks like he doesn't want to come out. I think I will be fine with that for another 2 weeks or so, then after Memorial day, I will expect things to happen. Hopefully!

A very Happy Mothers Day

What a wonderful weekend. Thank you Ben for all your help and for the wonderful card. Being a mom is so much easier with a strong man by your side and I have been blessed with you.

I have figured out why I haven't been in the "nesting" zone. Ben is doing all the nesting for me. He has been working hard to find a nice bedroom set for Savannah that would move our queen size bed into her room (and make a place for quests to sleep when they come) and make room for a king in ours. It's been a while since we looked at mattresses and furniture and I can't believe how much prices have climbed. He's been all over the valley, price comparing and looking for exactly what we want. After months of searching, he found the perfect set at the perfect price. We also found a steal on a king bed.

We made our purchases yesterday and had a blast getting our "new" rooms put together. Now all we need are some new bed linens and we are set. Shopping around for those will be the fun part for me!

It's been a great weekend and now we have a place for quests to come and stay. So everyone, start looking at prices and planning to come out and meet our newest addition. He'll be here before we know it!

a better frame of mind

I definately see that I needed to change what I was asking Heavenly Father for. Since I have changed and started asking him to bless me with confidence and all the feelings of joy and excitement that should accompany such a wonderful time as pregnancy, I have been feeling that way. I find my mind is less focused on the negative and more on the positive. I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who hears and answers our prayers. Especially, when they seem so insignificant compared to the challenges that others face.

The state of denial

Yep, still in denial that I am actually having a baby. Can't allow myself to think that in just a couple weeks, I will be holding my sweet Hunter and that he will be fine. Can't grasp it.

My anxiety seems to get higher and higher with each passing day. I have no real feelings of nesting, that seems silly. I can't imagine looking in Austin's room and seeing a crib ready for a baby, that I still can't seem to wrap my head around will be here soon. What if something goes wrong and I have to take that crib down, it is more than I can comprehend. It would be torture for me, but more so for the kids. They are so excited, they can hardly stand it and I want to protect them from heartache, but in this situation, I am powerless.

Is this my post pardon kicking in a little early? Am I being completely unreasonable? Is this me being a drama queen? I don't know, all I know is I am still scared to let myself accept this and that upsets me. I pray that Heavenly Father will watch over him, protect him until I have the chance to do the same. I pray for him, but maybe I need to start praying for me. Maybe I need to ask for the confidence to move forward and do the things to prepare and find joy in that.

This wasn't meant to be a downer post, but I needed to share these feelings in order to work through them. I need to feel like my feelings are valid. I know some of you have lost children in much worse conditions than just a late miscarriage, why is this so hard to get past? Why am I being paralyzed by fear of it happening again? Why can't I just be grateful for this new opportunity and not squander it with doubt.

Anyway, glad I got that out, now maybe I can deal with it. Thanks for listening.